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Category Archives: Random Thoughts

My Head is Blank!

I wanted to write, I do not know what to write. My head is blank, not actually blank I have so many things in mind but do not have one specific subject. It’s hot this day which made me feel terrible. I’m having trouble with my respiratory system. I have a cough and a runny nose. I can’t control myself to sneeze, I sneeze all the time.

There’s a brown-out rotation schedule and sometimes our feeder shuts down when I needed electricity the most.  My baby’s asleep I hope she will still sleep until 4pm. I want to tend our garden, but I don’t like to have my skin burnt. I look filthy, I look old, if I would just let myself I will be ugly forever. Not the type of a vain person I am. So I will stay inside the house, even if I’m perspiring, that’s okay, as long as I won’t let my skin burn again.

I cannot surf, the internet is down. I want to spend the rest of the afternoon, blogging, commenting, liking and see if somebody has done blogging about business establishments here in GenSan. I’d like to expand my writing through giving factual information about any businesses here in GenSan. I would like to do something else. Something like blogging about wedding stuffs, directories, updates on their latest gowns and dresses or any new amenities or services they can economically offer to the bride-to-be and groom-to-be. I haven’t finish my GenSan Matters page, I should go to LTO, NBI, NSO, Socoteco II to collect factual information about the list of requirements on acquiring a certain document or account.. ahh so much more to do. Or just log-in to facebook to catch up with friends and relatives I haven’t contacted or seen in a while.

You see, a lot has changed ever since I enter the world of marriage. I do not have the time hanging around with friends and going out at night. It’s not that my husband is strict. He’s very cool and supportive. But when I go out, I always checked my phone if my baby’s awake or has any problem. A lot of things are happening when going out and one of it is flirting. I’m all sold out, I’m not in the market anymore. It made me feel out, though I love the company that I have. I prefer to stay at home and just talk or watch quality movies, no shit movies okay?

I would love to watch The Avengers, they say it’s a good movie and I have a crush on Thor. I’m very outspoken to my husband whenever I have a physique appreciation to guys. I want to be honest with him. I already told him that I got butterflies on my stomach whenever I watch a movie of Edward Norton, Brad Pitt is my beautiful vampire, Robert Downey Jr. is very handsome in his mid 20s, Thor is very masculine but so heart melting whenever he crack a smile, he’s such a heart-throb! And he just sighed and said, “Whatever, you’re married and ugly anyway, nobody will love you like I do.” Such a mean person, he is. Hmmp!

My husband, my husband is a lot of things. He could be my friend, we watch or talk about something and laugh about it. He could be my lover, he’s such a sweet person and everybody told me that I’m not, that I am an insensitive person. Anyway since the vote is in majority I’ll accept it, I’m just an honest person doing things I like to do, hating things I do not like to do, okay? Where was I? about my husband being such a sweet person. I hate it when he’ll kiss and hug me while I’m all sweaty doing household chores. I hate it when he touches my armpit. I told him, “that’s my private part, you cannot touch that!” And he would just ignore me and do it again, it’s very irritating. I don’t have a body odor I just don’t want my armpit be touched by anyone, ever. But I love it when he simply hug me when I woke up, felt like we’ll be having a great day. He knew my limits, he knew when I am tired and he knew how to make me laugh and smile. So much about him being such a sweet person. He could be my enemy too! We argue and fight about anything, I’m pretty sure that’s normal in a couple. He won’t stop until he made me realized that my perception is wrong. He will not consider stopping until a factual information is being justified. We Filipinos are following things that are already a tradition, but without any scientific explanation, my husband won’t follow it. I’m just being vague here, cannot count the tell-tale of the fight but he would admit and apologize whenever he’s wrong, too. And yeah, that’s my husband.

Back on my runny nose, i really hate having a runny nose. I sneeze all the time, did I mention that already? I can recall my daughter having one and we ended up having a sleepless night. Poor her, poor us, we all sleep until lunch. I don’t like it when one of us has an illness. I remember my mother always went to church on Sundays. I told her, I want to be admitted in the hospital and see if who will come and visit me, so I would know who really cares. She scolded me and said, “I always go to church on Sundays and always pray that nobody would get sick, and there you are dreaming of some illness so you would know who cares. That’s a stupid, crappy idea!” I do understand now why she’s been very upset.

Life is not a game that once you fail you can restart and play the game until you win. It’s never easy. There are a lot of things I don’t understand until now, now that I am a mother. Like, why do we have to be at home before 6pm when we’re in high school? Why do we have to stay at home during Sundays, ahh family day, family that is the most important relationship you could ever attain to. It’s the basic unit of the community, that’s where your personality being mold. Unfortunately, we don’t have that basic simple living way back in my childhood that is why I got so many questions unanswered before, confusions.

What the heck, this writing has reached two-pages already. What did I just write?

 

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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Home

My father happened to meet a minor car accident last Saturday that is why we’ve been staying for days at my parent’s house these past few days. On weekdays there’s nobody to stay with him during daytime as my mother’s at work and youngest brother’s at school. He’s not disabled or something, he only had minor scrapes and bruises in his face and legs but that’s just it. I accompanied him to visit an outpatient doctor at Elizabeth Hospital and have his head and chest x-ray checked. The doctor prescribed medications for muscle pains. He seems pretty normal without any bone fracture. Thank God about that.

Our work is through net so we can be able to be anywhere, anytime as long as we have a good internet reception/connection. That is why we end up accompanying him.  He felt lonesome. One of the signs of aging I guess?

One night I went to the bathroom without switching the lights, it’s really dark but I can still remember the meter away from the kitchen, how many footsteps in the living room going to the bathroom. And suddenly I realized that I’ve been living for two decades here in this very house. I grew up here, had my childhood, puberty and adolescence. Every nook and crook of this house, i knew the story behind and had been a part of our lives.

The living room that once was full and alive, with pet, cousins and siblings watching movies or tv series together, now is a silent place with only my father watching tv alone and drinking his Gran Matador Brandy, the only thing that made his day. LOL.

The kitchen and dining area with ten hungry people waiting for breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner keeps the area noisy and busy, full of laughter now seems to be quiet, inhibited and only my father  to cook his lunch.

I, now understand why suddenly he’s been very kind and very accommodating to us different from the person we knew (loud, grumpy and hot tempered). Good thing  my husband can talk to him about anything from his field of interest, they’ll sit and talk for hours. He’d be happy if our daughter called him “daddy”, he’d be happy if his other granddaughter Colyn would be on the phone.

He misses us and he’s missing the life of the house.

It’s amazing how time ticks and how it passes by, how people passes us by. But one thing’s for sure, there will always be a certain time and place that you will always remember that you and your love ones shared and cherished. This was, still and will always be my home.

 
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Posted by on March 25, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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Being Caffeinated!

We went to uncle’s house to pay our condolences to his late mother-in-law, Lola Dading, may she rest in peace. We meet a lot of people in different walks of life. People I knew in my childhood, those people I thought I could never see again. It’s good to bump in with childhood friends, we talked about how we turned out since we’re mid 20s already and a lot of them have their own wife/husband and children. And one of them I think I haven’t converse for a while is my cousin Alper with her girlfriend and my mom. Since I was doing work late at night sometimes ‘til dawn I used to drink coffee every night. Then after that, I would always prefer coffee rather than softdrinks.

I offer my mom a coffee drink and so I thought I would drink too. I am a Kopiko .coffee fan, but  Nescafe 3-n-1 is only available, it’s sweeter than my usual Kopiko coffee, so I decided to pour two sachets of Nescafe 3-n-1 to make it closed to Kopiko Brown’s taste

We chitchat about his field of job. He graduated in Culinary Arts here in General Santos in a prestigious Culinary Arts School called Gerardo’s.  He’s been to Lapu-Lapu City, Cebu for months working at Shangri-La Mactan Resort, a five-star hotel as an apprentice or as a cook. i learned from him that Cebu is not just one City, it’s consist of several cities in one province called Cebu. He stayed in That five-star hotel that offers a tour package with board and lodging for a high price definitely worth every penny for employees are very accommodating to customers, the place is very cozy and the food is  delicious. Mactan, Lapu-Lapu City is well known for five-star hotels. A lot of foreigners stayed there, either to study or just for holidays especially Koreans and some would stay there for good.

He also told me that this “island hopping” in Olango Island which is a cheap trip, is one of his favorite experience, one of their stops is an islet  known as a bird sanctuary wherein you can witness the existence of different types and races of birds, migratory or not.

He also mentioned visiting the Magellan’s Cross, it’s near Mactan City. The people, the old architectural structure of the church and buildings and the aura of the place are far different from General Santos which made him believe that nothing beats his amusement while walking under the heat of the sun.

He’d like to go to Bohol but he had a tight budget, so maybe next time.

“So what’s your next plan?” asking him while sipping my second cup of coffee, it was really cold and drinking another cup of coffee is a good option.

He told me that he’d like to go to Davao for there are vacancies available in his type of job. He’s eyeing for Grand Regal Hotel, an old hotel but effective and competitive in terms of high technology and especially in terms of food. May God bless him in his job hunt.

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After our chitchat, we bid farewell, went home and put my baby to bed. I clean the house, took a shower and finished my task from work. Still couldn’t sleep.  Gee.. I realized I drank too much coffee, not my usual dose that’s why I ended up blogging. And from this very moment I’m still alive as hell! Maybe I’ll just watch a movie our friend Pol downloaded.

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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Unfaithful Ones

Unfaithful Ones.

 
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Posted by on March 1, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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Unfaithful Ones

I’ve been surrounded with people from different walks of life. The path they chose, the plans they took and their success and failure in life. And it all started with love, loving God, families, friends, loving someone special and most specially loving yourself but how could you give love if you cannot love yourself? Love, lust and greed, is it really confusing?

I won’t wash hands, I’m far from being a moral person and I’m never perfect. I have had my flaws, bad experiences that nothing to be proud of. I’ve been bitchy if that’s how you say it, but then again I knew my place. I’ve never in to a relationship with a married man or should I say the Unfaithful Ones thinking I can be a home-wrecker someday, is not my cup of tea. I have a strong family bond, all thanks to my parents who raised me though we’re dysfunctional in so many ways.

Boys, they fluctuated during my single days, but I never encouraged married men to lure me even if they are handsome with beau physique and might possibly shower me gifts, monies, false-love, admiration, and everything that a woman wishes for in a partner. I always turned them down. Married men always go back to their legal wives and that’s how it should be as they exchanged vows before God. Their vows are unbreakable unless the other one is dead, then their marriage will be null and void.

I know some people who have loved the unfaithful ones and they all ended up in a bad fate disastrously. I don’t intend to ruin their reputation or make a big joke out of them. I love them and I’ll always be around to give a hand. But seeing them now, facing problems during pregnancy and to raise a child alone makes me feel sad, it shouldn’t be that way.

If you’re in the same page like them, would you want to do the same old brand new game and realize how far you lose?  Would you want to see your unborn child being raised without a father?

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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