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My Head is Blank!

I wanted to write, I do not know what to write. My head is blank, not actually blank I have so many things in mind but do not have one specific subject. It’s hot this day which made me feel terrible. I’m having trouble with my respiratory system. I have a cough and a runny nose. I can’t control myself to sneeze, I sneeze all the time.

There’s a brown-out rotation schedule and sometimes our feeder shuts down when I needed electricity the most.  My baby’s asleep I hope she will still sleep until 4pm. I want to tend our garden, but I don’t like to have my skin burnt. I look filthy, I look old, if I would just let myself I will be ugly forever. Not the type of a vain person I am. So I will stay inside the house, even if I’m perspiring, that’s okay, as long as I won’t let my skin burn again.

I cannot surf, the internet is down. I want to spend the rest of the afternoon, blogging, commenting, liking and see if somebody has done blogging about business establishments here in GenSan. I’d like to expand my writing through giving factual information about any businesses here in GenSan. I would like to do something else. Something like blogging about wedding stuffs, directories, updates on their latest gowns and dresses or any new amenities or services they can economically offer to the bride-to-be and groom-to-be. I haven’t finish my GenSan Matters page, I should go to LTO, NBI, NSO, Socoteco II to collect factual information about the list of requirements on acquiring a certain document or account.. ahh so much more to do. Or just log-in to facebook to catch up with friends and relatives I haven’t contacted or seen in a while.

You see, a lot has changed ever since I enter the world of marriage. I do not have the time hanging around with friends and going out at night. It’s not that my husband is strict. He’s very cool and supportive. But when I go out, I always checked my phone if my baby’s awake or has any problem. A lot of things are happening when going out and one of it is flirting. I’m all sold out, I’m not in the market anymore. It made me feel out, though I love the company that I have. I prefer to stay at home and just talk or watch quality movies, no shit movies okay?

I would love to watch The Avengers, they say it’s a good movie and I have a crush on Thor. I’m very outspoken to my husband whenever I have a physique appreciation to guys. I want to be honest with him. I already told him that I got butterflies on my stomach whenever I watch a movie of Edward Norton, Brad Pitt is my beautiful vampire, Robert Downey Jr. is very handsome in his mid 20s, Thor is very masculine but so heart melting whenever he crack a smile, he’s such a heart-throb! And he just sighed and said, “Whatever, you’re married and ugly anyway, nobody will love you like I do.” Such a mean person, he is. Hmmp!

My husband, my husband is a lot of things. He could be my friend, we watch or talk about something and laugh about it. He could be my lover, he’s such a sweet person and everybody told me that I’m not, that I am an insensitive person. Anyway since the vote is in majority I’ll accept it, I’m just an honest person doing things I like to do, hating things I do not like to do, okay? Where was I? about my husband being such a sweet person. I hate it when he’ll kiss and hug me while I’m all sweaty doing household chores. I hate it when he touches my armpit. I told him, “that’s my private part, you cannot touch that!” And he would just ignore me and do it again, it’s very irritating. I don’t have a body odor I just don’t want my armpit be touched by anyone, ever. But I love it when he simply hug me when I woke up, felt like we’ll be having a great day. He knew my limits, he knew when I am tired and he knew how to make me laugh and smile. So much about him being such a sweet person. He could be my enemy too! We argue and fight about anything, I’m pretty sure that’s normal in a couple. He won’t stop until he made me realized that my perception is wrong. He will not consider stopping until a factual information is being justified. We Filipinos are following things that are already a tradition, but without any scientific explanation, my husband won’t follow it. I’m just being vague here, cannot count the tell-tale of the fight but he would admit and apologize whenever he’s wrong, too. And yeah, that’s my husband.

Back on my runny nose, i really hate having a runny nose. I sneeze all the time, did I mention that already? I can recall my daughter having one and we ended up having a sleepless night. Poor her, poor us, we all sleep until lunch. I don’t like it when one of us has an illness. I remember my mother always went to church on Sundays. I told her, I want to be admitted in the hospital and see if who will come and visit me, so I would know who really cares. She scolded me and said, “I always go to church on Sundays and always pray that nobody would get sick, and there you are dreaming of some illness so you would know who cares. That’s a stupid, crappy idea!” I do understand now why she’s been very upset.

Life is not a game that once you fail you can restart and play the game until you win. It’s never easy. There are a lot of things I don’t understand until now, now that I am a mother. Like, why do we have to be at home before 6pm when we’re in high school? Why do we have to stay at home during Sundays, ahh family day, family that is the most important relationship you could ever attain to. It’s the basic unit of the community, that’s where your personality being mold. Unfortunately, we don’t have that basic simple living way back in my childhood that is why I got so many questions unanswered before, confusions.

What the heck, this writing has reached two-pages already. What did I just write?

 

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Posted by on April 26, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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My father happened to meet a minor car accident last Saturday that is why we’ve been staying for days at my parent’s house these past few days. On weekdays there’s nobody to stay with him during daytime as my mother’s at work and youngest brother’s at school. He’s not disabled or something, he only had minor scrapes and bruises in his face and legs but that’s just it. I accompanied him to visit an outpatient doctor at Elizabeth Hospital and have his head and chest x-ray checked. The doctor prescribed medications for muscle pains. He seems pretty normal without any bone fracture. Thank God about that.

Our work is through net so we can be able to be anywhere, anytime as long as we have a good internet reception/connection. That is why we end up accompanying him.  He felt lonesome. One of the signs of aging I guess?

One night I went to the bathroom without switching the lights, it’s really dark but I can still remember the meter away from the kitchen, how many footsteps in the living room going to the bathroom. And suddenly I realized that I’ve been living for two decades here in this very house. I grew up here, had my childhood, puberty and adolescence. Every nook and crook of this house, i knew the story behind and had been a part of our lives.

The living room that once was full and alive, with pet, cousins and siblings watching movies or tv series together, now is a silent place with only my father watching tv alone and drinking his Gran Matador Brandy, the only thing that made his day. LOL.

The kitchen and dining area with ten hungry people waiting for breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner keeps the area noisy and busy, full of laughter now seems to be quiet, inhibited and only my father  to cook his lunch.

I, now understand why suddenly he’s been very kind and very accommodating to us different from the person we knew (loud, grumpy and hot tempered). Good thing  my husband can talk to him about anything from his field of interest, they’ll sit and talk for hours. He’d be happy if our daughter called him “daddy”, he’d be happy if his other granddaughter Colyn would be on the phone.

He misses us and he’s missing the life of the house.

It’s amazing how time ticks and how it passes by, how people passes us by. But one thing’s for sure, there will always be a certain time and place that you will always remember that you and your love ones shared and cherished. This was, still and will always be my home.

 
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Posted by on March 25, 2012 in Random Thoughts

 

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My GrandMother: Marina Tatoy Tablo

My GrandMother: Marina Tatoy Tablo

A mother to her daughter, a grandmother to her granddaughter and a great grandmother to her great grandkids, it is as simple as you look at it but behind the scene it is as complicated and a very complex role given to a person. My grandmother, Mrs. Marina Tatoy Tablo is one of the simplest, most hardworking human being to seize any obstacles that comes in life.

At the age of 47, her husband, my grandfather passed away which left her with 10 kids to feed. But never did she falter in her helpless situation. But with lack of educational attainment, no company would hire her. Instead, with her simple cooking skill and friendly approached to each customer, she sold viands and other stuffs at the front of their house. In that way, she had fed her kids and even sent them to school. Good thing that my uncles and aunts are intelligent enough to avail scholarships. Their intelligence made them through education and stepped out of poverty line. Only 3 out of 10 of her kids did not finish schools, one was deceased and the two son’s interests were on the other field.

Their lives were not that easy before, I could imagine how my grandmother managed to budget everything. My mother and aunts used to rant about our demands on things we’d love to have which are unnecessary stuffs. In their teenage time, they cannot get anything they want they have to work on it before having it. They can only get things they needed and most of the time it was not provided to them. But nonetheless, they’re glad that my grandmother did not give up on them but she’s not the stage-mother type, she pushed them to their limits, hard enough to face their own problems so that they can stand on their own.

And even now, that they have their own families, husbands and wives, even to us grandkids. Her unfailing advised were classics. We can talk about tending the garden, babies, how life works, marriage and reminds me that life isn’t a magical fairy tale, you’ll have to work out on it to be in great success.

Last March 4, 2012 her kids, special mention her daughter Te Bem and Mommy Lai from Australia, threw a debut-party like celebration for her 72nd birthday. A gift that is intended to show gratitude on how she has touched our lives.

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We can only wish her nothing but good health, happiness and more birthdays to come!

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2012 in People

 

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